One Girl's Race To Be Happy And Healthy

• I have stopped caring as much about my health - I try to stick to a calorie limit but I have been THE WORST when it comes to exercising. So bad. I’m pretty sure I’ve only exercised twice in December.
• I tell myself I am fine being single, that I’m not looking for anyone, and to some extent that’s true…but I also fall for every single guy who is nice to me and treats me well. I’m talking just being friendly at work, or a customer joking with me or whatever. I need to either be serious about being single, or I need to start being smarter about how I am with guys.
• I have a shopping problem. A deadly one. 
• I don’t read nearly as often as I should (sounds silly, but that’s serious for me)
• I claim to dislike people so much, but I have some great friends and I need to make more of an effort hanging out with them. Start weeding out the bad from the good too.
• I don’t care about school nearly as much as I should. It always ends up biting me in the ass when grades come, and I can never seem to wake myself up.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones at the top of my list right now. This week and New Year’s is all about starting to sort through the crap in my life. Mental de-cluttering.

I am finally home for winter break.

This semester had a lot of good moments, but plenty of moments I wish I could just forget. 

I have been slacking off hard core on pretty much everything:

-I’ve only been so-so with eating

-I gave up on my exams halfway through the week

-I haven’t exercised in about two weeks (three?)

-I finished a book last night for the first time since Thanksgiving

-I barely post here any more

IT NEEDS TO CHANGE!

I won’t be getting a good night’s sleep tonight (it’s almost 3:30 right now) so we’ll see how I feel in the morning, but I definitely want to hop on the elliptical at some point before I go to work at 5 tomorrow night. Even if it’s just for 20 mins. I’ll be standing and working in retail for 4 hours, so 20 mins would be fantastic.

Exercising is going to be hard this break. I have a new internship most weekdays and I will most likely be working every week night and during the day on Saturdays and Sundays. I’m going to try my best though, and at least with work I’m standing and moving and not sitting down so there’s that.

It’s time for me to get back on track! To take measurements and pictures and see a change. I have lots of things coming up that I want to look good for. Not to mention I’m hoping that if I throw myself into working out, I’ll not only be diligent and therefore see a huge difference, but I’ll also forget about other issues going on in life. Or, who knows, maybe working out will give me some clarity and I’ll be able to solve these problems.

I’ll be posting some goals and things within the week. I just need to get a handle on how life is going to be for the next month and go from there.

Finals week is here!

Therefore, I shall be MIA until this weekend.

New plans

New goals

New life

Looking forward to it :)

A case of the sleepies has won out in the battle to work out a decent amount.

Lots of confusing and good things going on lately. I shall post more when I am not so tired.

Next Semester’s registered classes:

M, W:

9-9:50 - Body Sculpting

10-10:50 - Basic Aerobics

(and if the gym offers zumba next semester, 3-4 Zumba…no credit)

T,R:

11AM-7PM - boring classes (Intro to Dance is thrown in there somewhere)

F:

No classes :)

I’m going to want to kill myself every Tuesday and Thursday, but I’m gonna be riiiiipped :)

I’ve been so MIA lately because I finally met with the nutritionist at school (who knew we had one?? They should be advertising the hell out of this service! I only found out about it through my counselor) and I’m not meeting with her again until Wednesday, so I don’t have much of a fitness plan as of now.

I’ve been feeling like a failure lately. I just got an F on a paper and it seems like the ONLY reason for it was that it wasn’t long enough. He didn’t say a word about the content or how well/badly it was written. I’ve also not been doing so well on some tests (but one of those was because I was in the hospital the night before for heart palpitations…long story, but everything’s fine)

It’s every area of my life, not just fitness. Relationships, school (especially), sticking to goals, willpower, fitness, losing weight, being healthy, accomplishing goals and actually making something of my life.

I don’t know what happened to me or where my drive went. I honestly could drop out of school right now and not even bat an eye. Of course I would cry when it came time to find a job, but we’re talking about the present. 

I could eat that entire cake that’s sitting in the fridge….in one sitting.

I could lay in my bed and never move a muscle again.

I could skip every class and never take a test.

I could just quit all three of my jobs while I’m at it.

And shaving? Call me Bigfoot because that’s how hairy I’ll get.

I could never have another human interaction and be fine with that. 

And forget boys (which I say practically every other day BUT FOR SERIOUS. All they do is jerk you around and all ANY boy does is send me mixed signals.)

But I’m digressing….this is a fitness blog, no? 

The sad thing is, I don’t even know WHAT to make happen to get my old self back. It won’t be as easy as acing a test or having a good interaction with someone…it’s going to be something much deeper than that.

I just need to find it.

You know how some days when you get home, you just don’t feel like leaving again?

That was me today.

I skipped Bodysculpting and I planned to just lay in bed all day and listen to Spotify and think and do nothing and then go to bed feeling worthless….

but then I remembered that my 21st birthday is two weeks away which means my party is two weeks away and the dress that I ordered for my costume is much shorter and body-hugging than I planned for it to be and I got up off my ass and did 30 minutes of jell-o leg worthy strength training.

Even if I started at the beginning of the month (what with my body and all) I wouldn’t have lost/toned as much weight as I wanted to by my birthday, but every little bit counts right?

I’m trying to post here more.

I’m trying to support everyone more.

I’m trying to be happy with what I have at every stage until I can get better.

I’m trying to do the best that I can given the circumstances.

healthfoodstalker:

Don’t you think we, as consumers should have a choice???

If so, sign this petition:

http://action.ewg.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=1948&tag=201110gmopetitionemail2&utm_source=gmopetitionemail2&utm_medium=email&utm_content=header&utm_campaign=food

Please sign! We’re learning all about the horrors of GMO foods in my Chemistry and the Environment class and something needs to be done!

Eeeehhhhh I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

I’m not losing inches but I’m not gaining either, which you know is pretty cool.

I can’t sleep anymore. The earliest I fall asleep now is any time after 2 AM which leads to me sleeping in super late, or worse….getting sleepy during class, and then I can’t sleep again that night.

That means I never have the energy to work out. I was going to jog during commercials tonight, but I can’t even get out of bed to get some water let alone…you know…work.

*sigh*

Enjoying a nice fall treat of apple cider and crying over how badly my abs hurt.

Like, seriously I’m laying in bed and it hurts to get up…and it hurts to lay and sleep…and it hurts to laugh…and it just hurts.

But I can’t get enough of it :)